


I need you to believe

by Abbypd



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:06:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbypd/pseuds/Abbypd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I still don’t believe you.” Michael admitted softly after they had made out for a little while and Calum had told him he loved him over and over again.<br/>“You will. I don’t care how long it’ll take. One day you will believe me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I need you to believe

**Author's Note:**

> So this is short. I wrote this yesterday night when I was in a shitty mood soo...  
> I hope you guys like it. It's quite cheesy...

_Can you come over please?_

Calum didn’t think twice when he read the text. He quickly got dressed, put on some shoes, grabbed his keys and left.

 

It wasn’t the first time he had received a text like this one and he feared it wouldn’t be the last either.

The first time Michael had anted Calum to come over late at night, he hadn’t said it with so many words. The raven haired boy had known his best friend good enough to figure it out.

 

Calum walked towards Michael’s house as fast as possible, feeling a little worried. The red haired boy only asked him to come over whenever his thoughts became too much, whenever they were suffocating him and Calum hated seeing the older boy so fragile, so hurt.

 

Michael had told him he had Dysthymia almost two years ago, three weeks after his psychologist had told him the diagnose. It was a form of depression that usually was a little easier to bear but it lasted for years.

The red haired had been dealing with depression since the first year of High School. He had never told anyone though, the older boy had hid it very well which still hurt Calum.

It wasn’t easy seeing him so sad every now and then but it was even worse to know he had been dealing with the sadness all alone for so long.

 

When Calum reached the house, he opened it with his key and quickly ran upstairs, to Michael’s bedroom.

He found the boy in his bed, headphones on as he was curled in on himself, his eyes focused on the bright screen of his phone.

Without saying anything the kiwi boy crawled in his friend’s bed. He took his headphones and phone from him, knowing he was only using them to listen to depressing music, before wrapping his arms tightly around him.

He didn’t say anything for he knew Michael would start talking once he’d be ready.

 

So Calum held him, listened to the unsteady beating of his heart and his uneven breathing.

The youngest thought his friend was close to crying, but he wasn’t entirely sure; Michael had _never_ cried in front of him before.

The raven haired boy brushed his fingers through red hair with one hand while the other rubbed circles in his clad back.

All he could do was wait and hope he’d talk.

 

\---

 

“Do you think I’ll ever find someone who will love me?” a soft, shaking voice asked after at least ten minutes of silence.

Calum could practically feel his heart breaking.

“Because I don’t think I will.” Michael continued before the raven haired boy could answer him.

“I love you.” Calum said, knowing Michael didn’t even know how much he meant that.

“Your parents do too. And Ashton and Luke.” He added quickly. He regretted saying it as soon as he had said it because this way it sounded as if Calum loved him the same way his parents did and that was not true at all.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Michael sighed.

“I know you guys love me and that means a lot because I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Both boys were quiet again after that and Calum tightened his grip on the boy while the eldest tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I’m just scared I’ll never find someone who’d want to spend the rest of their life with me. I know I won’t. Why would anyone want to waste their time on me?”

Calum knew his friend was talking to himself, sorting out the thoughts in his head rather than talking to the kiwi boy so he let him finish while he tried to think of a way to respond, tried to figure out if this was the right time to admit his feelings towards his best friend.

 

“And I know it is silly to worry about this because there are a lot of people who are happy without a significant other but I just really want that.”

“It’s like I need someone else to love me in other to love myself and I know it should be the other way around but I just need a little help.”

It didn’t occur often Michael was this honest, revealing his deepest fears and secrets to Calum but the youngest was glad he did; that way he could see what was going on his head and maybe he could help him.

“Your self-worth isn’t measured by who loves you Mikey.” Calum told him and Michael sniffled a little, sounding close to tears.

“I know.” It was a whisper, barely there and Calum knew he honestly tried to believe him.

 

Silence fell over the room again, the only thing that could be heard was their breathing and Michael’s soft sobs. Calum knew his thoughts were haunting him and though he wished he would just talk about it. He also knew he couldn’t truly help him so he just placed a kiss on top of the boy’s head, letting him know without words he’d always be there. Michael buried his face in Calum’s chest in response and that’s when Calum could feel hot tears staining his shirt. It almost hurt to feel the wet fabric hit his skin, like it burned to feel the boy’s tears because he just didn’t want the boy to be this sad.

 

“I just hate not being good enough.” Michael whispered eventually, tears still slowly falling.

“You are though.” Calum said, feeling desperate now.

“You are good enough. You are to me.” He repeated, kissing Michael on top of his head, letting his lips linger there.

“You are so important to me Mike. I love you so much.” And it was true. Calum had never told the boy before but his love for his best friend had grown into so much more in the last few months. He didn’t know why, at first he thought it was just pity but he knew that wasn’t true. He found himself thinking about the boy all the time but he had never told Mike because they had been best friends for years and he couldn’t use any more drama. But he simply couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.

“I love you Mikey.” Calum repeated, wanting nothing more but to make Michael believe him.

“I know.” Was Michael’s response.

“No, you don’t. I don’t just love you as my best friend Michael. It’s more than that.” He knew he sounded like some cheesy actor in a romantic drama movie but it was true and Michael needed to know that.

He pushed the boy off of him a little so he could look into Michael’s watery green eyes, his thumb slowly wiping the tears from his cheek.

“I haven’t told you because I thought you already had enough to worry about but I can’t hide it anymore.”

“Calum I appreciate your concern but you don’t have to pretend to love me just because I am a little down tonight.” Michael faked a smile through his tears and Calum sighed. He had expected a reaction like this.

“It’s true. I’ve been in love with you for a few months now. I promise it’s true.”

His thumb was still on Michael’s cheek as his hand cupped his face and he wanted nothing more to reach down and kiss him, let him feel how much he meant it.

The eldest didn’t respond anymore. Instead his uncertain eyes searched Calum’s, wanting to find out whether he was telling the truth or not.

When Michael’s eyes fluttered down to Calum’s lips, the youngest didn’t hesitate anymore. He leaned in and gently placed his lips on Michael’s. The kiss was nothing special; Calum didn’t want to scare the boy so he just applied a little pressure before pulling back.

When he opened his eyes, he found Michael staring at him with wide, bewildered eyes and the raven haired boy hoped that it was a good thing.

“Why’d you do that?” Michael asked and Calum chuckled nervously.

“Because I want you to know I love you.”

“You’re just saying that….”  Michael started but Calum interrupted him by pressing his lips on Michael’s again. His hand found its way in his red hair before it moved down to rest on his neck, his fingers playing with the little hairs there.

It took a while before the eldest kissed him back but as soon as he did, Calum could feel his worries and nervousness being replaced by butterflies and he never wanted to stop kissing Michael.

 

\---

 

“I still don’t believe you.” Michael admitted softly after they had made out for a little while and Calum had told him he loved him over and over again.

“You will. I don’t care how long it’ll take. One day you will believe me.”

“What if I will never believe you?” Michael questioned.

“I will stay with you anyways. It’ll be my life mission to make you believe. I don’t care if it takes sixty years, because I am not planning on ever leaving you.” Calum shrugged.

“Okay.” Michael said and Calum could tell he didn’t know how to handle this information. He’d get there though. Calum would make sure he would.

 


End file.
